misadventure

slave! come forth!
yes, my lord Ba'al? how may I serve you?
aren't we having a beach party today?
yes, lord.
and don't I have certain requirements at such functions?
indeed, lord. I believe we have anticipated them. . .
silence! what about the virgins?
they are being rounded up as we speak, sire. difficult as it is to find any these days. . .
you mean they're not lining up outside the palace gate?
er, not exactly. I've been told that some have actually said that they've never. . . heard of you.
what!!? outrageous! this sounds like the work of my nemesis, Jehovah. has he been tweeting about me again?
no, sire. tweeting's your thing, not his.
hmmm. I'm getting bad press from somewhere. it looks like I'll have to speak directly to my worshipers. let's go.
what about your wig, sire?
my wig?
I assume you'll want to wear it.
of course. go fetch it. see that the comb-over is done properly. and make sure there's no wind today.
we're casting the necessary spells now, sire.
it's vitally important that I maintain my youthful image.
you wouldn't be yourself without it, lord.
and a magnificent self it is, right slave?
totally big league, lord. totally.