Consumer Protection

I'd like to speak to the complaint department.
what seems to be the problem?
I am not satisfied with the service I'm getting here.
what's wrong with it?
what's wrong is that there is no service. none.
none you say? what service are you looking for?
I need a rail ticket to L.A. I want the express.
do you now? unfortunately, that train doesn't stop here anymore.
what?
nor any other train, for that matter.
since when?
since, oh, about 30 years ago.
I had no idea.
yeah. it's hard to tell by looking around, isn't it?
damn. you coulda fooled me.
no kidding.