Nurse Coco and DisOrderly Elvis

Today I had a sort of spit roast procedure: a colonoscopy to check on the progress of my diverticulitis, and a gastroscopy to look into why I have begun to get such bad reflux, together with some biopsies. Had the loveliest theatre team, with a surgeon who arrived unshaven in T-shirt and shorts, fresh from a jog (so it looked), a charming anaesthetist, and four fab nurses, one of whom was slightly late as she was milking the cows that morning. They were all so chirpy and kind and competent. But unlike the last colonoscopy, this time I woke up feeling crap. They said my blood oxygen kept dropping and then I stopped breathing and went blue so they had to intubate. Then for whatever reason, in the half hour after I woke up, the pain just kept rising, with chest pains and tightness, and pain across my stomach area. They did an ECG then put me in a bed for observation, and gave me various stuff to quell the pain. Back home now under the watchful and loving eyes of Dr Ad. It feels peculiarly like it's the bones that are hurting. In particular my left hip bone is tender to the touch, my shoulder blades, my thigh bones, and then, aargh, everything else just ACHES. I finally managed to sleep for two hours on an electric blanket on full. It was the only thing that eased the pain. I was assisted by Nurse Coco and DisOrderly Elvis. Later, Remedial Masseur Zetor came to do some vibrational therapy, while Nurse Coco kept watch from her office-basket nearby. Elvis went back to being DisOrderly. Much later, I had a visit from Leeloo, who is a Beauty Therapist. She doesn't actually do anything for you; she explained that just by being there, she makes the place more beautiful.