All Coffee, All The Time!

Welcome to Upside-Down Land, where "Nothing" means "Everything." :P From the October issue of Western Family magazine.

The Amazing Colossal Woman requests your presence at her kaffeklatsch. Make sure you're clear as to whether it's at 8AM or 8PM. She's not somebody you want mad at you. From the March issue of Coronet magazine. (Enlarged to show detail.)

This is why it would be fabulous to have two spouses. From the March issue of Everywoman's magazine.

She doesn't know that he's two-timing her with the Spur Cola babe. From August 17th's issue of Life magazine.

Uncle Jake has just bet Dad fifty bucks that he can't eat that entire steak in one sitting. Dad's only hope of victory is the extra stomach acid that comes with sating one's "coffee hunger" before the meal. From the September issue of Western Family magazine.

Don't be an "O.F.P"! Always be sure to leave your bowling ball right in the middle of the living room floor! From the February issue of Western Family.

A contender for worst ladies luncheon of the decade. (Any decade, really.) The soup appears to have toothpaste as its base. The gelatine was obviously flavored with the coffee-esque powder and possibly with strands of spaghetti, too. The cake looks like it was carved from a block of cement. Even the way everything's jammed together in the layout makes me feel kinda' woozy. From the May issue of Everywoman's Family Circle.

Cream? Sugar? Life raft? From the May issue of Everywoman's magazine.

The online Inflation Calculator page says that the "$6.00 value" coffee set would now be valued at $48.30 (as of 2010). Yeah, I'm glad I was sitting down for that, too. From the October issue of Western Family.

Save up to 25 cents! And spend it on a background that your china won't blend in with. From the October issue of Everywoman's magazine.

"The World's Favorite Drink-- Good Coffee. Fragrant, sparkling, amber-clear coffee is truly a drink of a thousand delights. Rare bouquet... pungent flavor... limpid, mellow smoothness... all in one glorious beverage! "Coffee belongs to so many occasions. The satisfying, homelike beverage of the family table. The savory zest of the camp fire meal. The friendly glow of the cozy, intimate gathering. And the crowning touch of dignified drawing-room hospitality. "Small wonder that the secrets of making the perfect cup of coffee are so coveted and so well worth knowing!" Front and back covers of a 20-page promo booklet published by Maxwell House Products Company, Inc. of Los Angeles, CA, Jacksonville, FLA, and Houston, TX.

"Care of Coffee Equipment: Remember that scrupulously clean equipment is necessary for making good coffee. Wash the pot in clean, hot, soapy water, using a slender brush for the spout and any crevices or grooves that cannot otherwise be reached... Keep the coffee pot bright and free from any stain or discoloration. The sediment which collects on the inside of the pot should be removed by scouring..."

Clockwise from upper left, chapter images clipped from "Story of Maxwell House Coffee," "How to Make Good Percolated Coffee," "Delightful Recipes from Other Countries," and "Correct Use of Different Types of Percolators."

Okay, that is officially the weirdest looking coffeemaker that I've ever seen. From Good Housekeeping's Picture Cookery book.

Rachel wonders if it's ladylike to tell her brother-in-law that the sleeve of his good suit is about to go up in flames. From the December issue of Ladies Home Journal.

Behold the only time when the lady of the house should be happy to read the word "Aged." From Sunset magazine.

For extra-rich flavor, why not stir it with one of your skis?! From the January issue of Family Circle magazine.

All the diner waitresses within a hundred-mile radius hate this guy. He camps out at the counter for hours and then never leaves more than a five-cent tip. From Family Circle magazine.