Happiness Is Heinz

And with one last delicate adjustment of the lazy susan, our President bids you adieu.

Front cover of an English Good Housekeeping promotional booklet published by J.J. Heinz Company Limited, Waxlow Road, Harlesden, London. Now look at her. You can tell that she's had one summer too many of waiting on her straying spouse and a horde of lazy, ungrateful brats. But thanks to her pre-marriage degree in Chemistry, the salad cream has been "seasoned" in a way which will shortly solve all her problems without the police ever learning a thing.

Yeah, this to-do list is longer than my arm, but sure Mum's gonna' get in a lot of leisure this Summer. :/

'...try creamy summer eggs with rice, or a splendid crab mayonnaise, or the pleasant surprise of sandwich pie."

"Use Heinz Salad Cream, New Mayonnaise and Tomato Chutney as the bases for creamy, piquant spreads and dips and you have tempting family snacks or the beginning of a party-style buffet in not much more than a matter of minutes..."

"For Variety-- Cook with KETCHUP!" "It's Red Magic!' From a 24-page promo published by the Heinz Corporation, Pittsburgh, PA. (Originally posted to flickr on April 4th, 2011.)

It took real guts to use this slogan at the height of Cold War I (as opposed to the one we're living in now [grumble].)

Our food has garlic in it! And chili powder (next page)! We're living on the edge now, America! At least for once, the Hawaiian lady isn't dancing for a boggling flock of pale tourists...

...And the Mexican guy isn't being depicted fast asleep next to a cactus. I'll take what I can get.