Household, 1956

The wreath-shoe combo on the door is obviously some kind of code. Something like: Dear Carolers, I can't abide "Sleigh Ride" and if you subject me to it, you'd best be prepared to walk home in the snow without all the protection you came with.

Nowadays, you can preempt such awkwardness. Just put a huge flashing sleigh and musical note together in a circle, with a line through them. Display this prominently on your Facebook page between October 15th and January 5th. Everyone's happy.

From the December issue.