Alan Mays' photos with the keyword: jokes

It was a little cloudy outside, but I think I saw it!

In commemoration of Tax Day in the U.S., here's some humor from the time when photocopiers and fax machines were used to share jokes. Simplified 1040 Latest revision for 1040 Federal Income Tax Form. Department of the Internal Revenue Service 07. 19_____. Your Social Security Number ________. Part 1: Income 1. How much money did you make last year? ________ 2. Send it in ________

"Nobody can April-Fool me. I am a fool. Bernhardt Wall. Copyright 1909 The Ullman Mfg. Co. N.Y." Printed on the other side of this postcard: "American Post Card. 'April Fool' Series No. 156. Subject No. 2490." This foolish fellow didn't fall victim to the Brick in a Hat trick, but he is wearing a "I am a fool" sign. For a similar April Fools' Day postcard, see They Can't April-Fool Us, Eh?

For similar April Fools' Day postcards, see Dear Sir, We Have This Day Doubled Your Salary, The Boss and Dear Sir, I Have Sent You Several Boxes of Cigars . April 1st Dear Sir, Pardon this intrusion, but as you seemed to scared to speak, or write, I took the liberty. Before proceeding farther I must tell you that I have a peculiar affliction. After drinking a few quarts of champagne, I sing, dance, and spout poetry. As my temperament is to love and be loved, I cannot resist the impulse, and don't! Understand, I am a perfect lady always, one who loves her home, but " Oh you kid ." So just press the button, and I will do the rest. Yours bubbling over with love. Mazie D.

"April Fool. Ha ha." A nineteenth-century calling card printed on marbled paper that has faded over time. Instead of a typical calling card with a name printed on it, some Victorian-era prankster handed out this card as an April Fools' Day joke. For another Victorian calling card printed on marbled paper, see Marian Reynolds .

This rebus puzzle sheet is left over from the time when photocopiers and fax machines were the technologies used to share jokes. This specific version of the sheet dates to December 17, 1998. Although the days of photocopy humor and faxlore are long gone, Rick Archer has attempted to trace the origin of this piece. He first encountered a slightly different version of the Christmas rebus puzzle in 1996, and he has compiled his findings about its history on his Original Christmas Puzzle Web page (he also posted an answer sheet ). See below for the answers to the rebuses on this photocopy: Identify the Christmas Songs from the Pictures - Answers 1. Jingle Bells 2. Walking in a Winter Wonderland 3. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town 4. Joy to the World 5. Up on the House Top 6, O, Come All Ye Faithful 7. I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas 8. What Child Is This? 9. We Three Kings of Orient Are 10. Deck the Halls 11. I Saw Three Ships 12. O Christmas Tree 13. O Holy Night 14. The First Noel 15. The Twelve Days of Christmas 16. Away in a Manger 17. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus 18. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth 19. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire 20. It Came Upon the Midnight Clear 21. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow 22. Silent Night 23. O Little Town of Bethlehem 24. Silver Bells

Cracker Jack Riddle cards like this one were issued in sets of twenty in 1906. They included well-worn humorous riddles that circulated widely in books and newspapers at the time. A book of Conundrums, Riddles, and Puzzles by Dean Rivers that appeared in 1903, for instance, contained all the riddles on this card and probably most or all of the ones on the other nineteen cards. Cracker Jack It is not often one can find A candy good for body and mind, But our old doctor says it's true That "Cracker Jack" is good for you. This famous confection is manufactured from choice, wholesome materials and blended together in a scientific manner. Cracker Jack is a combination of candy, popcorn, and peanuts, and it is very nutritious as well as palatable. It is more easily digested and assimilated than richly made candies. It is good alike for young and old. The more you eat The more you want. Manufactured by Rueckheim Bros. & Eckstein, Chicago, U.S.A. See riddles on other side. "Cracker Jack" Riddles What relation is a door mat to a door step? A step farther. What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence. How do we know that Noah had a pig in the ark? Because he had Ham. When is money damp? When it is due in the morning and missed at night. What is the cheapest way to buy a fiddle? Buy a little medicine and get a vial in? How may book-keeping be taught in a lesson of three words? Never lend them. Why are records brittle things? Because they cannot be lowered without breaking. When did George Washington first take a carriage? When he took a hack at the cherry tree. What is the difference between forms and ceremonies? You sit upon one and stand on the other. Why do girls kiss each other and men not? Because girls have nothing better to kiss, and men have. Why were the brokers in the panic of 1873 like Pharaoh's daughter? They saved a little prophet from the rushes on the banks. Send name and address with 2c stamp and receive a full set (20 different kinds) of our famous "Cracker Jack" Riddle Cards.

"Dear Sir, I have sent you by express, prepaid, several sample boxes of my 15, 10, and 25 cent cigars. You will also find matches and a cutter in the package. Should they please you, just drop us a postal and we will send you more samples. Your obliging servant, A. Stogie, Cigar Maker. April 1st"

Oh You Chestnut! When is a door not a door? When it's a-jar!! Your ancient ones are welcome. May they never seem new to us. "Chestnut," of course, can refer to an old, stale story or joke. See chestnut (joke) in Wikipedia and old chestnut in Wiktionary. Some nuttiness for the Weird Vintage Postcards group. See also: Oh You Lemon!

"Pickle Dill Etchings. If the earth weighs 200,110,000,000,000,000 pounds, what will the Milkey-way? Oh, you milk maid." This early twentieth-century humorous postcard starts out with a goofy heading, "Pickle Dill Etchings," which may have been used for a series of similar postcards. Below that is a riddling question that turns out to be a silly pun–"What will the Milky Way weigh?" And the exclamation at the bottom of the card–"Oh, you milk maid!"–extends the milk allusion but also refers to a song, "I Love, I Love, I Love My Wife–But Oh! You Kid!," that was all the rage in 1909 (for a discussion of how immensely popular it became, see Jody Rosen's fascinating Slate article," How a Sexed-up Viral Hit from the Summer of '09–1909–Changed American Pop Music Forever "). The "oh you kid" catchphrase also generated many other variations. For additional examples, see Oh You Lemon! , Oh You Chestnut! , and Oh! You Lobster .

This "Mule Barometer" joke (sometimes also called a "Burrometer") has a long history and has appeared in many different printed versions (often with a more dramatic condition like "If tail is gone--Tornado" as the punchline). Although it's frequently published as a postcard, this example is actually an advertising card printed for the Central Brass Manufacturing Company, which has been in existence since 1895 and still continues to manufacture brass faucets and fixtures. Today, the Mule Barometer gag regularly reappears as a " weather rock ," which is--as Wikipedia interprets it--"a humor display that pokes fun at the intricate technology used in modern weather forecasts, as well as the fact that their accuracy is less than perfect. A rock is typically hung from a tripod and accompanied by a sign indicating how to read it." -------- Mule Barometer Directions: Hang outside. If tail is dry--Fair. If tail is wet--Rain If tail is swinging--Windy. If tail is wet and swinging--Stormy. If tail is frozen--Cold. Further information upon request. There is no kick coming to those who use the highest grade brass goods for plumbing and water works made by the Central Brass Mfg. Co.

I have not been able to determine who Emmett A. Thomas was or why his head was superimposed on the body of a mosquito. Some kind of New Jersey joke perhaps?

"Good monring! They can't April-Fool us, eh? Kick me. Bernhardt Wall. Copyright 1909 The Ullman Mfg. Co. N.Y."

"Dear Sir, In recognition of your valuable and efficient services, we have this day doubled your salary and reduced your working time two hours. You will also find enclosed several shares in the business which we take pleasure in presenting you. Yours truly, The Boss. April 1st." Postmarked April 1, 1910.

"Don't walk around town placated as this chap is, remember it's April Fool! Kick me. Copyright 1908 P.C.K. August Hutaf."

"Don't be in a hurry to run home if someone tells you your house is on fire, it is only the work of an April Fool!"

"April Fool. August Hutaf. Copyright 1908 P.C.K. "

"The Jokemaster. / At cracking jokes you're a wow, / But your wisecracks are old, somehow, / Your jokes are stale, your puns are cheap, / You're so darn funny you make us weep!" A vinegar valentine criticizing those jokesters who tell us, "Listen--here's a new one!," and then proceed to relate a stale old chestnut from Joe Miller 's Joke Book (the first version of the book was published as Joe Miller's Jests, or the Wit's Vade-Mecum in 1739).