SadGirl

Sad Girl
Now and then I drop in at the online The Baffler, a self-styled culture mag on the pretentious side of things but containing the occasional gem and, more often, articles of such silliness that they make my day. Some time ago one of those made me aware of a phenomenon I had totally and mercifully missed: the Internet Sad Girl.
The article pronounced said curio dead and proclaimed that this was A Good Thing. The embodiment of such grotesque creature was one Lana del Rey. So I went off to the ineffable YouTube to check out the young miss. And boy was I glad I had missed her and her kin. Such vapidness is seldom seen in my neck of the woods (thank Bumba!). Anyways, I thought I could do better than Ms D.R. and came out with this here Sad Girl.
Now, she is truly and really a sad case: overweight and unhappy about it, her dormant brain engulfed by Facebook’s contradictory party lines and utterly devoid of dress sense, the poor mite is in a permanent state of dejection.
But all is not lost. Rosie and BoomBoom, the fashion fiends of Maison Shogg, are keeping their bulbous eyes on her. Also, planning to abduct her to their Total Reshuffle Spa, treat her to a Mi-Go Molecular Reorganization therapy, give her a few tips on sartorial intelligence and cleanse her brain of any traces of antisocial media indoctrination. After this…watch out, world. Mata Hari will seem like a convent girl compared to her.
Long live fluffiness!